My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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