I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
