You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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