Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
