A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
