thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
