guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
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