I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
