Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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