All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
