I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
