dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
