On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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