As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Come see our sink grown plant.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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