Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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