did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
