The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
third nipple confirmed
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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