my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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