Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
