i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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