The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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