its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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