things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
