if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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