This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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