Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
