is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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