i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
