Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
