So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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