Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
