she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
