I heard we made out
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
