DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
