A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
