Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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