i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
