All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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