That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
