Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
