it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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