It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
not ubering you a puppy
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
