if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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