It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
