filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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