high people should be assigned attendants
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
