i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
