Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
