Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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