yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
