I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
