so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
