she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
