you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
