...so i touched it.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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