Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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